Share and share alike

So I guess I didn't scare you off, huh? Good! Welcome back!

I was reading this post at Simple Mom today about brothers and sisters sharing a room. I left this comment:

My two oldest kids are about 2.5 years apart, my daughter being older than my son. They originally shared a room because of space but as they got older and we moved into a bigger house, they could’ve had their own rooms but they didn’t want to. In fact, they did have their own rooms and yet they would still end up sleeping in the same room, one of them sneaking into the other’s after I’d put them to bed.
So for years they had a bedroom and a playroom, probably up until they were ages 9 and 7. They are now 18 and almost 16 and they’re still extremely close.

I had forgotten all about that until I was writing that comment. Sissy and Bubba grew up sharing just about everything – a bedroom, a playroom, toys.

And then I realized that Princess won’t have that same experience. Since her siblings are so much older than she is, she doesn’t have to share much with them other than the TV, the Play Station or the computer.

Now I don’t want her growing up to be spoiled, selfish or stingy. (Ok, it might be a little too late on the spoiled thing.) I want her to be compassionate, giving, and willing to share with others.

Luckily, I’ve discovered a fun way to do this. Hasbro has this new series of games out called Noodleboro, one of which is the ‘Learning to Share’ Fun Park. She has a blast playing this. Its not just a regular ol’ board game. The layout of the game includes a carnival style layout with 4 different stations. The goal is to win prizes from each game and if you win more than one of a certain kind of prize, you earn a star by sharing your extra prize with another player who doesn’t have one.

The best thing about it is that there is no “winner.” The point of the game is for the entire group to collect enough stars before the sun goes down and the park closes. So rather than putting player against player, the players are working as a team.

We’ve had a lot of fun with this game. Of course, there have been times where we don’t worry about collecting the prizes and the stars; we just play with the little carnival games.

Oh, and if your child doesn’t have any problems sharing – meaning they’ve outgrown the “Mine!” stage – then you might want to try the other Noodleboro games. There’s the “Learning About Manners” Picnic Basket game and the “Learning to Listen” Pizza Palace game.

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I can’t take much more of this

I don’t know what to do.

As I write this, Princess is throwing an ear-splitting headache-inducing tantrum because Bubba threw away an empty, cut-up, Teddy Grahams box. It had these little cut-outs on the back of the box so I cut those out and gave the boxes to my son to put in the trash. Princess lost.her.mind.

Then as he was taking the trash outside, he started removing a piece of paper that she had drawn on and then taped to our door. That made things even worse. She was sobbing to the point where I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. And you know those stupid little postcards for magazine subscriptions? Don’t even think about putting that in the trash can unless you’ve got a lot of Tylenol on hand.

And now Bubba is pissed off and crabby because he’s sick of listening to her scream. And I get to sit here and listen to both of them scream at each other. I gave up on trying to please them both.

I try to teach my son how NOT to react to her but he just gets mad at me and yells and complains about what SHE is doing. But getting her to stop doing whatever it is she does to annoy him is next to impossible.

So who do I “fix” first? Trying to get Sissy and Bubba to be aware of Princess’ “issues” – she’s an HSC and has sensory processing disorder – and asking them adjust their behaviors is exhausting me. But trying to get Princess not to behave the way she does is exhausting too. Not to mention the fact that when I DO try, everyone acts like I’m “coddling” her and spoiling her and that that’s the reason she acts this way.

I am at the end of my rope. And being single, I don’t have someone else to step in and play referee while I try to get laundry and dinner done.

I am drained and teetering on the edge of depression again.

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Like the actor, not the car

So we now have a new addition to our little family. His name is Chevy (see title of post). He’s about 7 years old and we adopted him from a family whose 4 year old son developed bad allergies I was on Freecycle looking to see if anyone had office furniture or supplies so I can get my home office set up and I found their ad. Apparently they’d had offered him before and had some no-shows so they were giving it another try to keep from having to send him to the Humane Society. Anyway, we’ve been home for about an hour and he’s checking the place out. He seems to like Princess’ room the best. You can tell by the expression on his face in this picture that he’s going to fit in to our family very well.

And in case you you’ve heard me mention our degus before but had no clue what one is, here’s a pic from last week of Princess holding one of them. She kinda freaked me out because taking them out their cage is usually a huge ordeal. So when she walked over to me holding one of them (not sure if this is Tinkerbell or Baby, they all look alike), I said “How did you get her out??!!” Anyway, a degu is about the size of a rat but they look and act more like a chinchilla, dust baths and all.

Next up will be a dog but that will have to wait until we move. We’ve all wanted a dog for so long and I swear to you, I want one almost as much as people want children. (Dogs are easier to feed and entertain and they don’t spit up on you.)

Ok, so everybody say “Hi Chevy!” (For the first few months, his full name will be “Chevy Like the Actor Not the Car” until everyone gets to know him.)

P.S. I emailed the family to let them know we made it home ok (car rides stress him out). They replied and said “Thanks for giving him a great home. We hope he makes you as happy as he made us.” Ok, I’m going to cry now.

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Childhood is Calling

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Sure, I still get depressed

So if anyone thinks people who are medicated, in therapy, and otherwise managing their mental illness don’t still get depressed…think again. The biggest difference, though, is that we now know how to recognize it and cope with it. But it still happens.

The other difference is that it tends to be more of a situational depression as opposed to clinical depression. People with a mental illness still get sad, we still have our down moments or down periods. But instead of being a result of something going on with our brain chemistry, its about something going on with our life.

That’s where I am now.

I hate it when Princess is gone. My days and nights just don’t seem to have much purpose when she’s not home with me. You know how there have been stories about animals in captivity that give birth but they lose their baby and then the mama animal doesn’t eat and doesn’t play and her caretakers worry about her. But then they put an animal of a different species in there with her and she “adopts” it as her own and suddenly she’s acting normal again. I understand why. I know how empty that feels.

Sissy called me this afternoon. She is going to graduate after all. And she wants me there. So come Saturday morning that’s where I’ll be. She also dumped the boyfriend that I couldn’t stand (FINALLY!) and he quit his job so now he works somewhere else which lessens the chances of them getting back together. And while I’m glad to hear both of those bits of information, I can’t help but think “If only she’d done that stuff two months ago….”. That’s all I wanted her to do was get away from him and start focusing on school again. If only…

And then there’s Bubba. This Sunday is Mother’s Day. I can almost guarantee you that his father has or will do something to prevent my son from calling me. He’s already done everything he can, illegal or not, to keep my son and I apart because he doesn’t give one tiny little shit about how it makes my son feel, so its not like he’ll let him at least call me on Mother’s Day. That’s fine though. It’ll all be worth it in the end. He’ll keep digging himself into a much bigger hole. As painful as it is, being patient will pay off in the end. I know that and so does my son.

I suppose thats it for now. I think I’m just going to go to bed once American Idol is over.

Speaking of American Idol…
Syesha Mercado blew me away tonight. I think she’s shown the most improvement out of all of them. She’s so beautiful, inside and out, and its nice to see her personality finally showing through. Her emotions tonight were really touching.

Jason Castro is just mediocre…but he’s soooo pretty. He really reminds me of an old co-worker I used to fool around with. Wow. Those are some fond memories. But I think Pretty Stoner Boy is going home tomorrow.

David Archu-whatever annoys me. I don’t know why. He’s just too perky or something. Meh. Brownie points for choosing an Elvis song though.

David Cook, I think the novelty of his faux-unique arrangements of popular songs has worn off. But he is still a great singer.

That’s my two cents worth, not that anyone reads this blog for my opinions on AI.

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