Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category
“Home Sweet Home” or the “Where in the hell have I been?” post
So I guess I didn't scare you off, huh? Good! Welcome back!
I have somehow lost like an entire week. Between celebrating my birthday, freaking out over the idea that 40 is only 2 years away, getting in touch with old friends from high school and hanging out with an old boyfriend, and seeing my therapist again for the first time in several months just to discuss what we need to do before closing out my file, I’m having one of those identity crisis things I think. Not a big one, just enough to make me wonder how much of the old me is still around.
When I say “the old me” I’m talking about two particular phases in my life: Teenage Me and The Breakdown Years.
Teenage Me was nothing but trouble. I skipped class, I smoked pot, I dated bad boys who had longer hair than I did, I went to rock concerts, I slept with a cheerleader’s boyfriend, I ran away from rehab. My jeans were ripped, my stereo was always blasting, my hair was big and blonde (except for that one time I used some temporary stuff to color it red and apparently I got mad at The Boyfriend for saying he liked it better blonde but I don’t remember that.)
I worshipped guys like Nikki Sixx, Sebastian Bach, Rudy Sarzo, Steven Tyler, Rick Savage….I even wrote a letter to the dude that managed Poison at the time to ask him what it would take to become an entertainment manager. Music was my life. If I couldn’t BE a Rock Star, I was going to work with them. (This will explain why so many of my projects have the term Rock Star in the name. Like Rock Star Blog Design and the Rock Star Biz Network. And why some of my jobs and my friendships have been centered around music and bands.)
But some of that passion has fizzled over the past few years, some of which has to do with The Breakdown Years.
During The Breakdown Years, I was still involved in some of it…bands, concerts, drinking, bad boys. None of it was doing me any good. In fact, it damn near killed me. Between having my heartbroken and trying to save someone from the same addictions I had long ago freed myself from, it broke me. I lost sight of who I was and what was important to me. I let people treat me like shit because I felt like that was what I deserved which made no sense because I was always the type of person that swore I’d never take any crap from anyone.
That’s all over now. It all finally came to a head in the Summer of 2006 and I almost died. Twice. That was my rock bottom. And I’ve busted my ass to pull myself back up from there. I stopped partying, I stopped dating, I stopped going to concerts other than a few local bands and to kinda chaperone a few for my daughter and her friends.
I got my own place, I found a job working from home, I started my own business, and I stayed out of trouble.
So what does this past week have to do with all of this stuff? Well now that I’m in a better place in my life and got some control back, I’ve got room to let some of the old me back in without worrying about throwing away this New Me I’ve worked so hard on building.
I can have my loud music back. I can have a few drinks. I can hang out with the bad boys as long as they’re the kind that just seem bad on the surface but underneath they’ve got a heart of gold and would never intentionally hurt me or anyone else, the ones that have Been There Done That (like me) and learned their lessons (like me).
Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about that little space in my life where my professional life and my personal life are connected. Most of my life is lived online right now and I don’t want to have to worry about keeping them separate. I want to be myself in my business, I want to be authentic, I don’t want to feel like I need to apologize or explain myself to anyone in either of those circles. My friends will know that I can’t stay up drinking all night because I have a client project to finish, and my clients will know that I am not working over the weekend because I’m going to a concert.
In other words, I am who I am. Yes, I have a past but I also have a future. And all of the mistakes I’ve made have made me who I am today. Love it or leave it.
Enough is enough
I swear, I have had the worst luck with clients or potential clients lately and I’m seriously about to just scrap it all and start fresh – new business, new target market, new everything.
First there was the client who hired me to convert an HTML site to a WP site plus 10 hours worth of VA work. I got the site done right away and heard nothing from them for like a month. Now usually I don’t do rollover hours. The hours are to be used before the end of the month. But I let it go and carried them over to January. Then in January, those 10 hours that I’d intended to spend on some administrative stuff – sales pages, newsletter, etc. – were spent on constant revisions. The site was DONE. New graphics, theme fully customized, the whole bit. Then came the “Oh I think I want this other theme instead.” Ok, fine. I redid the whole thing with a different theme. Done. “Oh, I think I want a different color scheme.” ARRGGH!!! Redid all of the CSS and the .php files and waited for the rest of the info to be used in the pages. Two header redesigns later, I still don’t have the text I need. Plus I’m having to go in and fix things that they tried to do on their own – turn pages into posts, move categories to subcategories. I wait a week for a response which I finally get on a Friday afternoon. By Tuesday, I’m getting “Where are you?? Is the site done??” emails. Two working days later. Two. Actually, more like one and a half since it was Tuesday morning. Needless to say, there were no VA hours left over to get to the stuff I had originally planned because it was all spent on the bazillion revisions.
Then there are the ones who want an entire WP site done twice as fast for half the price. First its the “I can’t afford it” stuff. I tried to make it easier by splitting it up into two payments, sent out an invoice for the first half. Waited and waited on payment. Nada. They wanted a list of what was being done for this (already reduced) price. Sent it. Then comes the haggling. How much if we don’t do this part? How much for just this that and the other? I never should’ve caved in to begin with. It just opens a door that never gets shut unless you slam it. Hard.
Now from someone else, I’ve got an unpaid invoice that’s never going to get paid because they’re claiming they never got the email in which I sent the first draft so they hired someone else. Now how am I supposed to prove I sent it and is it even really worth it? No matter what I do, they’re going to refuse to pay. Oh and if I want proof that they never got it, I can check out their site to see that they’re using a different one. So I did. And guess what? The tag line on the one they’re using is the EXACT same one I came up with on the draft of the graphic I sent that they “never” received. Coincidence? Doubtful.
Lessons learned. From now on, I am standing firm on my prices and my policies including a deposit before work is even started. Proposals, expenses, timelines will all be laid out in the beginning and any deviations from that will either cause other work to get pushed to the bottom of the priority list or it all gets done and the extra hours are billed.
I can’t do business like this. I can’t put in 20 hours and only get paid for 10 of them. I can’t do $500 worth of work for $200. And I can’t put time into a project that I’m not going to get paid for.
Now I’m sure I’ll be bashed and gossiped about for talking publicly about this because I’m supposed to be worried about my image. But ya know what? If it sends the message that I do not appreciate or deserve to be taken advantage of , good. I know I’m not the only who has had these problems and I have no problem being the one to speak up and say you can’t treat people like this. Hopefully my future clients will appreciate that about me. Those that have a problem with it will certainly be able to find someone else to hire.
If you want quality work and you want me to do what you hired me to do, let’s talk. If you want to hire someone who is willing to negotiate their prices and do some of the work for free…well, I wish you luck. Please, please, please respect the people that provide the services your business needs. We have busy schedules and bills to pay too.
Aaaahhhhhhhh!!! I needed to get that out or else I would’ve lost what’s left of my mind.
Offensive ads? Pepsi FTW!
You thought the Motrin ad was bad….wait until you see Pepsi’s “suicide” cartoons.
From Advertising Age:
There’s but one calorie in PepsiMax and, as we know, one is the loneliest number. So it only makes sense that a new flight of print ads from BBDO Dusseldorf show a cute but sad little personification of a calorie committing suicide in a few ultraviolent ways, including a gunshot, a hanging, self-immolation and even slitting his little blue wrist with a razor blade.
For those of you that know me or have followed my blog, you know about my own battles with mental illness. I’ve been a supporter of organizations like NAMI for a while and I’ve written articles and speeches about mental illness. So you’ll have to excuse my language when I say “This shit pisses me off!”
Seriously, Pepsi? You thought this was cute or funny? Granted, the Germans are known to have different styles and tastes so maybe this would fly over there. But not here and certainly not from a company that’s one of the most recognized brands in the US.
I’m sure you think you can afford to lose a few thousand consumers including a Diet Pepsi addict like me. But do you really think that’s a good PR move? Did you sleep through the whole Motrin fiasco?
Not only is it insensitive and utterly disgusting to mock suicide, but you used a freakin’ cartoon character that looks a little like Blue from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. Yeah, way to go! Pepsi, meet Joe Camel.
What in the hell were you thinking?? Ah, wait. You weren’t. Well, hopefully now you will. There is NOTHING funny or cute about suicide.
Motrin can bite me but, Pepsi, you can f**k off.
Its a love/hate thing
Isn’t it ironic that I love the legal field enough to make a career out of it yet I absolutely detest it too? I like the law firm/attorney side of it, I like the ambiguity and the interpretation of the law, the legal analysis. But the Court system….it sucks! There’s no such thing as equal justice. Its all about the money. And the only way to protect your rights is to pay someone to make sure they’re protected. And even then your rights are subject to being trampled on.
I’ve got two different court cases that are destroying my life right now. One of them has been dragged out for 2 years now and has no end in sight. That one cost me 75% of my income. First, I lost a very well-paying job because of a hearing that dragged on for 18 hours spread out over 6 days. Then the Sperm Donor’s attorney snuck some order in without my knowledge that put a stop to the child support I’m entitled to so now I’m having to fight to get that order dismissed. Now because of my income, my other case is screwed up and Bubba’s dad keeps getting away with screwing me over and I can’t get any help. Yes, I’ve tried legal aid. Yes, I’ve tried law school clinics. But because the ex has an attorney and I don’t, I’m getting nowhere. Yet all I’ve asked for is for the Court to enforce and abide by the law. Apparently its not that simple. Because I stood there and tried to represent myself, I wasn’t taken seriously. I was interrupted and told by the Judge that he didn’t have time for it. I tried getting transcripts to prove my case but guess what. You have to pay for them. I don’t have the money to get a copy of what was said in court. I don’t have the money to have an attorney prove to the court that my ex and his attorney violated the law.
So I’m just screwed. And so are my kids. How am I supposed to have faith in a legal system that has done nothing but make things worse for me no matter how hard I fight to make things better for myself and my family? How am I supposed to believe in a system that has failed me and my children time after time?
It ain’t easy. Its enough to make you wanna pack up, change your name and move to another country just to protect yourself from it. Or worse…
I’m not much of a praying person but I sure do need some strength and I just don’t have much left.
No Photoshopping needed
This is an actual picture taken at a strip mall in my area.
Only death and taxes are inevitable
Yes, that’s a mortuary located next to a tax preparation center.
As the saying goes, only two things in this world are inevitable…death and taxes. Now you can take care of them both in this strip mall. One stop shopping at its finest!
