Archive for the ‘Custody Crap’ Category
Its a love/hate thing
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Isn’t it ironic that I love the legal field enough to make a career out of it yet I absolutely detest it too? I like the law firm/attorney side of it, I like the ambiguity and the interpretation of the law, the legal analysis. But the Court system….it sucks! There’s no such thing as equal justice. Its all about the money. And the only way to protect your rights is to pay someone to make sure they’re protected. And even then your rights are subject to being trampled on.
I’ve got two different court cases that are destroying my life right now. One of them has been dragged out for 2 years now and has no end in sight. That one cost me 75% of my income. First, I lost a very well-paying job because of a hearing that dragged on for 18 hours spread out over 6 days. Then the Sperm Donor’s attorney snuck some order in without my knowledge that put a stop to the child support I’m entitled to so now I’m having to fight to get that order dismissed. Now because of my income, my other case is screwed up and Bubba’s dad keeps getting away with screwing me over and I can’t get any help. Yes, I’ve tried legal aid. Yes, I’ve tried law school clinics. But because the ex has an attorney and I don’t, I’m getting nowhere. Yet all I’ve asked for is for the Court to enforce and abide by the law. Apparently its not that simple. Because I stood there and tried to represent myself, I wasn’t taken seriously. I was interrupted and told by the Judge that he didn’t have time for it. I tried getting transcripts to prove my case but guess what. You have to pay for them. I don’t have the money to get a copy of what was said in court. I don’t have the money to have an attorney prove to the court that my ex and his attorney violated the law.
So I’m just screwed. And so are my kids. How am I supposed to have faith in a legal system that has done nothing but make things worse for me no matter how hard I fight to make things better for myself and my family? How am I supposed to believe in a system that has failed me and my children time after time?
It ain’t easy. Its enough to make you wanna pack up, change your name and move to another country just to protect yourself from it. Or worse…
I’m not much of a praying person but I sure do need some strength and I just don’t have much left.
No I’m not ok
But thanks for asking.
Its no secret that I’ve been in a slump lately. To be honest, “slump” doesn’t cover it. I’m fighting another round of depression but I’m fighting it really hard so I’m still somewhat functional. I can Twitter, I can write review posts, I can get my work done, but that’s about it.
So rather than email everyone who has asked me what’s wrong, I’ll just try to write a brief and somewhat vague explanation here.
First, I lost my job. My day job, the one that pays the bills until I get more clients. Yeah, its gone. I had to go to yet another court hearing (4 in one month), so they fired me because I’ve missed too much time. Exact same reason I lost my job at the law firm last year making twice what I’m making now and doing what I love. See, I tried to turn a negative into a positive and it became the motivation for starting my own business. Starting my VA business would have allowed me more flexibility and control over my schedule. Unfortunately, its not enough to support my family so I was holding on to the regular job. So much for that.
Then I lost my Princess. I’ve been battling in court over my educational rights which The Sperm Donor and DHHS have both just tried to run over with a freakin’ freight train. So The Sperm Donor and his pitbull attorney requested an emergency removal of my daughter because I didn’t take her to the school by his house which is 30 miles away from my house. I’ll save you from doing the math. That’s 120 miles per day, 2 hours of driving, 5 days a week. I tried to enroll her in our local school but they wouldn’t let me. So I started homeschooling her. I set up a curriculum, signed up for an online homeschooling calendar, bought a few supplies and did what I had to do to make sure she was getting the education she deserves (don’t even get me started on the public school mess from last year that the Sperm Donor put us through). It was going great, she loved it, she learned more in one day here than she had in an entire week at public school. But then, just to be a dick, he goes and gets this order saying that I didn’t take her to school for two days and for some fucked up reason, in his mind, that warrants having the cops show up at my house to take my daughter.
The only thing worse than having your child taken away from you is going to their funeral. There’s a physical ache in my chest, a sinkhole where my heart is supposed to be. I can’t even go in my room because the day she left, she was “hosting a birthday party” for her dolls in my room and they’re all still in there. I went into my room to change clothes the next day and I just lost it. I collapsed onto the bed in tears.
To top it off, Bubba isn’t here either. He wanted to go to a friend’s birthday party. Well in order for him to go, I had to give up my weekend. See, his dad won’t just switch weekends like most normal, civil parents would do. Last year, Bubba wanted to go to a school dance that was on my weekend. I said “Ok, fine, we’ll just switch weekends.” I sent the Stepbitchmother an email saying it was fine with me. Oh but that’s just not acceptable to Bubba’s dad. He forced Bubba to stick to the schedule and said it was my fault that he couldn’t go to the dance because I’m the one that took him to court after he kidnapped my son and I didn’t see him for a year and because I did that, we have this court order that says he’s supposed to be here so by God, he’s going to be here. So this time, I made the sacrifice (I was willing to last year, he just wouldn’t accept it) so Bubba could be with his friends, especially considering his dad rarely ever lets him hang out with his friends. This jerk has even taken time off from work to sit in the parking lot across from the public swimming pool to spy on Bubba. The one place he was allowed to go all summer long and his dad has to spy on him to make sure he’s really there. Anyway…once again, I’m always the one making sacrifices.
So now here I sit until the hearing on Wednesday morning with nothing to do – no job, no clients, no homeschool, no lunches to make, no Hannah Montana or Clifford to watch. I’m just a big blob of nothing. Princess isn’t here, Bubba isn’t here, just me and the cats which is why I’m developing this paranoia about turning into Crazy Cat Lady.
There’s your answer. No, I’m not ok…but thanks for asking.
