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Ok, I’m still on 2 dating sites even though I’m only putting forth a half-assed effort at it so I rarely get messages. Anyway, I got a message from a guy last week with a picture attached. He’s definitely hot, no doubt about that. But his screen name was something along the lines of “Big Cock” (*eyeroll* If you’re advertising it, chances are I don’t want it). Usually I ignore guys like this but I read the message and he actually sounded intelligent and funny, which is much more important to me than a “Big Cock” anyway. Of course, in the world of Internet dating, “intelligent” = correct spelling and proper punctuation.

So we chat back and forth, he continues to sound really intelligent, but I’m still suspicious because guys that hot are never that smart. He only has one picture and it was only on his profile briefly before he removed it.

Then I see red flags flying all over the place…. here’s the conversation:

Oh, wait, hold up….my messages are GONE which means he deleted his account!!! Hahaha! Ok, that just confirms my suspicions. The guy was a fake.

Anyway, the guy starts talking about being “open-minded” and asks about getting together. I tell him, yes, I’m open-minded and I won’t be available until weekend after next. Then he starts dropping not so subtle hints about getting together to have sex.

So I say, whoa, hang on buddy. I don’t go around promising sex on the first date to guys online. He says yeah he understands, blah blah blah.

He asks for my phone number. I say how about you give me yours and I’ll call you, I don’t give out my number first.

He says he doesn’t have a cell phone, he was going to borrow one to call me. I said what about a home phone, because I don’t give out my number until I know someone, especially since I know there are people associated with at least 2 of my exes that would love to get their hands on my phone number. Nothing personal, I told him, just a safety issue on my part.

At some point during all this, he changes his screen name. I asked why and he said he ran into someone he knew from way back and didn’t want to approach her with such a vulgar screen name and he also didn’t want anyone to recognize him and see what he used for a username. (Ok but he removed the picture so how would anyone recognize him.) Then he asks for my number again.

I said, thanks but no. If you change your mind and decide to give me your number, let me know. Otherwise, take care and good luck.

His last message said ” *shrug* Ok…”

And now his profile is gone.

This is why I am overly cautious when it comes to meeting men over the Internet and why I always, always trust my gut.

Total. Fake.

Please someone else tell me you’ve had bad luck with this Internet dating thing too. Because I am about to just give up. I don’t even want to date anyone right now so I don’t know why I even keep my profile.

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