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I’ve often joked about how I would really be screwed if any authorities of any kind went searching through my computer to see what I’ve searched for because I have some truly bizarre stuff in there. A lot of it comes from watching crime shows like FBI Files or Women Behind Bars. Since most of those are reruns, I go searching for updates, trial outcomes, sentencing, etc. to see what the current status is. I also have a slight obsession with IMDB and looking up obscure actors, supporting actors, and “where are they now” stuff. For example, did you know the twin girls who played the baby in the 80’s Diane Keaton movie “Baby Boom” are now some kind of college tennis stars?But even my strange searches - caraway seeds, animals that mate with the same sex, folding spork, and how long does codeine stay in your system - aren’t as bizarre as some of the ones that have led visitors to my blog.
Here are some of the most recent:
underwear for my sissy boyfriend - Ok, why can’t he just wear yours? I’m sure your local Wal-Mart has something frilly in his size.
online dating sucks - Yep, it sure does. Apparently a lot of people think so because I wasn’t even on the first page of results for that one.
that’s crazy - Hmmmm…very vague, this one is.
crazy old mom - I see this one a lot, sometimes with a “dot com” added to it. Someone is obviously looking very hard for their “crazy old mom” but they keep ending up with me. Sorry, I’m just a crazy mom. I’m not claiming that whole “old” part yet.
I do get a lot of “crazy mom” variations…crazy mom cure, crazy step mom, crazy mom with son, crazy mom hot, dealing with my crazy mom…
But the most bizarre one I have ever seen is…are you ready for it?
The number one most bizarre search engine request that has sent someone to my blog is…
sperm in mom underwear
Ok. I’ll ask since I know you’re thinking it anyway. What. The. F**k.
Nevermind, I don’t wanna know.
P.S. I composed most of this post whilst sitting on the commode. As most moms know, that’s one of the few places you can get everyone to leave you alone.
4 responses so far ↓
1 1 goodncrazy // Jul 27, 2008 at 12:21 am
NO comment on the commode part.
And I assure they do have forensic computer specialists. My hubby has hired them to dig inside people’s computers before and I also assure you they use EVERY bit of it against them!
As for the crazy searches, I get those too.
my last question, is:
How long do those weird searchers stay? Cuz too long and I’d be worried!
2 2 Kaye // Jul 27, 2008 at 7:26 am
HI! I saw your site on Good and Crazy’s blogroll… love this post, it may inspire a post for my site.
I have to disagree about the commode being the only place the kids will leave you alone. At my house (13 and 12 year old girls) it is a invitation to bust in and find out what I’m doing….really, what could I possibly be doing in the bathroom?
Love your blog.
kaye
3 3 Jenni // Jul 27, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I do some of my best work in the bathroom! LOL!
Great blog!
4 4 Kelly // Jul 28, 2008 at 10:37 am
Ah, the bathroom - it is the only place to be alone. Sad isn’t it? But like they say, and it is true, some of the best work is done in the bathroom, just try taking a shower without paper and pen nearby!
Great post!
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