Who is God?
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Conversation with Princess in the car tonight
Her: You know who thinks there’s a man up there?
Me: Who?
Her: [insert classmate's name here]
Me: Oh yeah? You mean the man in the moon?
Her: No, up there *points to sky* But there’s not!
Me: Well, some people do think there’s a man up there. Some people think that God is up there and some people think that there are just stars and the moon and the sun up in the sky.
Her: Who is God?
Me: Well…. God is a creature that some people think created the world. They think he made the trees and the water and people and animals.
Her: Well I don’t!
Me: Ok, and you don’t have to. But some people do and they believe that he’s up there watching us and sometimes they go to church to talk about him. And that’s ok.
Her: Well not everybody thinks he’s up there and I don’t want to because he scares me.
Me: Ok baby.
I think the idea of someone being up there watching her freaked her out. 
But I groaned a little inside when she said “Who is God?”
Randomness
Random Thought 1: I loves me some Jezebel. It’s like Perez Hilton and TMZ for people with, ya know, a BRAIN. Something as simple as a snarky comment about Courtney Love’s pre-Cobain days reminds me why I like it there. And Perez Hilton can’t even spell Obama, much less compose an intelligent post about Michelle’s involvement in her hubby’s campaign.
Random Thought 2: Pain meds can result in some seriously bizarre dreams. Like being introduced to Steve Zahn and having him fall for me obsessively. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he hadn’t insisted that I watch his movies on his cell phone while he picked out the shoes I was going to wear. Or if he hadn’t whined and cried when he came down with the flu and I wasn’t going to drop everything and sit with him and take care of him.
Random Thought 3: Maybe I should have accepted the invitation to an Oscar Party after all. I wasn’t going to go because I haven’t watched the Oscars since 2000, the year Julia Roberts wore the vintage black and white gown, because it reminded me too much of the night Bubba was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes and I watched it on a small television and waited for some news from the doctor while my precious, ailing son slept. But this year, I’m thinking I will watch. And I’m wondering if I would have had more fun watching it with a whole group of people, snacking on stuffed olives and deviled eggs with capers, instead of watching it from my own comfy couch with my kids, dining on grilled tilapia and homemade pommes frites. On second thought, I think I’d rather stay home.
Random Thought 4: I think if I am forced to watch ‘Clifford’s Really Big Movie’ one more time, my next pain-med-induced strange dream will involve gigantic red dogs.
Busy, busy day
The kids and I, along with a friend and Sissy’s boyfriend, went to the Children’s Museum today. I haven’t been there since Sissy and Bubba were little. I forgot how fun that place is. Well, for them anyway. I just had fun watching the Princess. She seemed to enjoy the more realistic stuff too, like the pizza restaurant and the grocery store. Oh and of course she liked the theater and art stuff.
I gave my Bubba a card that had a Nietzsche quote on it and he appreciated that more than the joke that was inside. At 15, he’s quite the intellectual. How many teenagers do you know that have “The Anti-Christ” on their iPod? Anyway, the front of the card said “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” and on the inside it said something about his smelly socks. His socks don’t really smell, I just knew he’d get a kick out of the fact that I found a greeting card with Nietzsche on it.
Then we headed to Best Buy and bought a couple of PS2 games, after stopping at PetSmart to check out the pets for adoption. (It breaks my heart that we can’t get one yet…but soon.) Now that we’re finally home, I’m so glad I decided to make a stew in the slow cooker today because I am way too exhausted to cook. So now we’re about to eat dinner, watch ‘Dumb and Dumber’ and read the Junie B. Jones book that Princess got the other day. (All three of them love it when I read stories using different voices for all of the characters. Their favorite is PJ Funnybunny.)
I swear, I have the coolest.kids.ever.
Online dating SUCKS
Ok, I’m still on 2 dating sites even though I’m only putting forth a half-assed effort at it so I rarely get messages. Anyway, I got a message from a guy last week with a picture attached. He’s definitely hot, no doubt about that. But his screen name was something along the lines of “Big Cock” (*eyeroll* If you’re advertising it, chances are I don’t want it). Usually I ignore guys like this but I read the message and he actually sounded intelligent and funny, which is much more important to me than a “Big Cock” anyway. Of course, in the world of Internet dating, “intelligent” = correct spelling and proper punctuation.
So we chat back and forth, he continues to sound really intelligent, but I’m still suspicious because guys that hot are never that smart. He only has one picture and it was only on his profile briefly before he removed it.
Then I see red flags flying all over the place…. here’s the conversation:
Oh, wait, hold up….my messages are GONE which means he deleted his account!!! Hahaha! Ok, that just confirms my suspicions. The guy was a fake.
Anyway, the guy starts talking about being “open-minded” and asks about getting together. I tell him, yes, I’m open-minded and I won’t be available until weekend after next. Then he starts dropping not so subtle hints about getting together to have sex.
So I say, whoa, hang on buddy. I don’t go around promising sex on the first date to guys online. He says yeah he understands, blah blah blah.
He asks for my phone number. I say how about you give me yours and I’ll call you, I don’t give out my number first.
He says he doesn’t have a cell phone, he was going to borrow one to call me. I said what about a home phone, because I don’t give out my number until I know someone, especially since I know there are people associated with at least 2 of my exes that would love to get their hands on my phone number. Nothing personal, I told him, just a safety issue on my part.
At some point during all this, he changes his screen name. I asked why and he said he ran into someone he knew from way back and didn’t want to approach her with such a vulgar screen name and he also didn’t want anyone to recognize him and see what he used for a username. (Ok but he removed the picture so how would anyone recognize him.) Then he asks for my number again.
I said, thanks but no. If you change your mind and decide to give me your number, let me know. 
Otherwise, take care and good luck.
His last message said ” *shrug* Ok…”
And now his profile is gone.
This is why I am overly cautious when it comes to meeting men over the Internet and why I always, always trust my gut.
Total. Fake.
Please someone else tell me you’ve had bad luck with this Internet dating thing too. Because I am about to just give up. I don’t even want to date anyone right now so I don’t know why I even keep my profile.
Style, spending money, and the lack thereof
My online “home” is a debate message board where I hang out with some of the coolest.ladies.ever. (And a few guys too.) Not only are they smart and funny but a lot of them have a great sense of style…and the checkbooks to have that style.
These women are the best when it comes to shopping, clothing and hairstyle advice. Need a makeover? Post pictures and let ‘em have at it. Need to find a little black dress, sexy red slingbacks, or the perfect white button-down? Ask and they will find it.
I totally admire them but I admit, I’m also a little jealous. Considering that I don’t ever plan on getting married again and I seriously doubt I will ever make it into law school, I don’t see having that sort of disposable income in my future. So, yeah, it sucks trying to figure out how I can get the same results with my $20 Revlon flat iron as they do with their $100 Chi, or finding a $30 look-alike of their $300 Michael Kors purse. It just ain’t gonna happen for me.
So what are my options?
1) Find and marry a rich guy. If only it was just that easy. First, I value looks love over money, so I could never marry just for money. Second, the idea of marrying any guy makes me queasy.
2) Become independently wealthy. Yeah, like I wouldn’t have done that by now if I knew how. I can manage, I may even live comfortably, but Wealthy and I were never meant to be.
3) Fake it. That’s do-able. I know how to bargain shop. I know about clearance sales and thrift stores. Hell, I have purses from Coach, Prada and Kate Spade, none of which I spent more than $20 on. And I do have some nice clothes and about 30 - ok, 40 - pairs of shoes. But what do I end up wearing? Vintage tees, yoga pants and Nikes.
I think I’m having an early mid-life crisis or something. I’ll be 37 next month and even though I look younger than I am, I don’t feel like dressing younger than I am anymore. I colored my hair a dark brown/almost black with the intention of putting Manic Panic Vampire streaks in it because now that I no longer work in a law office I can do that. But now I just don’t really feel like it. And a few weeks ago, I bought some pointy toed, black patent, knee high boots - I have a weakness for boots - but they have yet to have the crumpled paper removed from their insides because I just can’t see gracing the concrete floors of the grocery store with their presence.
Ugh. I feel like I’ve become so…..boring. How did this happen?
I’ve lived in Europe. I used to box. I was a rollergirl. I used to go out to clubs and let cute guys buy me shots. I got tattoos and had things pierced. I was hot. I was fun. I was intoxicating.
And now look at me. It’s 9:30 on a Saturday night and I’m on the couch with Princess watching Noggin.
Le sigh. Oh well, at least I know where I’m going to wake up in the morning. That’s more than I can say for my old days. So maybe boring isn’t so bad after all.
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Sissy's Virtual Baby Shower
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