I quit…maybe

So I guess I didn't scare you off, huh? Good! Welcome back!

I’m being forced into a position where I may have no choice but to give up on my dream of owning my own business. I’m sitting here in tears now just thinking about going to a local business on Monday and *gasp* filling out a job application. This weekend, I’m going to work on updating my resumé so I can start sending it out.

If I get a J-O-B, I won’t have time for my business. But if I don’t get a J-O-B I won’t have a roof over my head.

I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve done everything “they” tell me to do – the marketing, the networking, the SEO, the PLR, the affiliate stuff…

I’ve bartered in exchange for testimonials. I’ve offered discounts for referrals or to members of certain groups. I’ve done last minute freelance projects just so I could afford food for my kids and gas for my car.

I can’t even pay my rent, much less join clubs and groups and pay for a buttload of advertising. There is so much truth to the saying “it takes money to make money”. I’m trying to make the most of whatever freebies I can find even if it means dealing with an inbox loaded with newsletters that I had to sign up for to get the free ebook/webinar/mp3 recording. I’ve spent hours in seminars trying to win access to some of these but end up empty-handed and neglecting my family.

I’ve tried to stay positive. I’ve tried to act like business is going great. But its not. And every time I see someone on Twitter talking about their great clients and being so busy with work that they can barely keep up, it just makes me feel completely inadequate, like there is something fundamentally wrong with me, that I don’t deserve that kind of success regardless of how much time and work and “blood, sweat and tears” I’ve put into it.

But blood, sweat and tears don’t pay the bills. Minimum wage, here I come…again.

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